Rebexxa Safina:  Hey I’m Rebexxa Safina and I’m writing a story about one really cool elf named Trillogy Alva Edison Swift and her best friend in the whole world, Legola Lakens.  They have two boys falling all over them… bad boy pirate Cairne and cute, mechanical cyborg Aron.  There’s also murder and intrigue and court appearances and other ogre stuff.  So ogre!  But, anyways, I’m actually exactly like a 14 year old high school freshman/ rabid hyena… so my story is full of tons of hot carcasses.  Like totally hot carcasses.  YUM!  You’ll love it!  There’s also space mermaids, leprechauns, goblins and all kinds of other stuff.  Enjoy!

[Publisher’s Note: There is some light and comical cussing along with a few adult situations and adult humor sprinkled throughout this saga.  It is packed full of wacky sentences and surreal situations.  If you think this might not be your thing, proceed no further!]

[WARNING: The following chapters are all very rough drafts, without copyediting.  The last few books get especially wild.  The first two are basically going to stay the same.]



Beguiling Boobs:

Ch1: Elves and the such like.

Ch2: Elftorney

Ch3: Freaking ladybugs in my hair

Ch4: Now that I’m a ghost, I’m popular

Ch5: So Ogre

Ch6: Gayquality

Ch7: The High Priestess

Ch8: What is there After Beguiling Boobs?

Ch9: #freethebern

Queen of the blue-blue meow-meow:

Ch1: Pirates be like, “Arg.”

Ch2: The Redwood Trees

Ch3: Breaking into Sky Mountain

Ch4: Dinner with a vaguely famous person

Ch5: Central Intelligence Space Mermaids

Ch6: The Blond Squad

Ch7: Queen of the blue-blue meow-meow

Ch8: Sky Mountain: Junkyard Kingdom

Ch9: Down with the Queen

King of the Tessarac:

Ch1: Like a spoonful of sugar

Ch2: Mesopotamia

Ch3: Le’Pig and his physiognomy

Ch4: King of the Tessarac

Ch5: Learning the blue-blue meow-meow

Ch6: Revenge of the Octosquid

Ch7: Murder, her name was Murder

Ch8: Finally Accepted as Pigs

Ch9: We are The Trilogy


Dust up at the JK Corral:

Ch1: Escape from the Piglets

Ch2: Murder in the Western Province

Ch3: One Life, One Potion.

Ch4: The Ghostwriter’s Guild

Ch5: If a Woman is Unaccompanied

Ch6: The Minor Fad of Banana Accessories

Ch7: Trillogy Makes a Life Changing Decision

Ch8: The Secrets of Ghostown

Ch9: Mattress Dancing

The Zuckmeister:

Ch1: Ogre Nora

Ch2: Copperheart and pinkheart

Ch3: The Jinn of Mesopotamia

Ch4: Aron the Time-Pig

Ch5: The Zuckmeister

Ch6: The Perv as a Young Man

Ch7: Convalescing Conspiracy

Ch8: The Trümp Train

Ch9: The Inescapable Force

Library of the Mortal Gods:

Ch1: The First Librarian

Ch2: The Newest Librarian

Ch3: Jinnye

Ch4: Eight Mortal Gods

Ch5: The Necro-Elf

Ch6: The Necro-Pig

Ch7: The Magi of I-Magi-Nation

Ch8: Petina the Zuckmeister

Ch9: Trümp and the Great Escape Clause


The DAFT Factory:

Ch1: Sinking the Lusitania

Ch2: The First Birth of the Original Time-Pig Aron

Ch3: A New, Third Continent

Ch4: The DAFT Factory

Ch5: Cabled News

Ch6: The Laws of Attention

Ch7: Slow Leviathan Behemoth

Ch8: DAFT Control

Ch9: The Jinnye Strikes Back

Attention! Narcissists! Ahoy!:

Ch1: The Annihilation of Mesopotamia

Ch2: An Escape to Triogy

Ch3: A True Sacrifice

Ch4: A DAFT Implosion

Ch5: Giving up on Legola Lakens

Ch6: Pigs Ahoy!

Ch7: Giving up on Trillogy Alva Edison Swift

Ch8: Seeking a Master Plan

Ch9: Re-Connection

The Last High Elf (Even High Elves Poop Rainbows):

Ch1: Pigs of the Redwood Forest

Ch2: The Ninth Pig Rebellion

Ch3: Sky Mountain Refugee

Ch4: The Cogs Jump the Track

Ch5: End of the High Priestess

Ch6: No Fall Tall Wall!

Ch7: A Titanic Purpose

Ch8: The Grand Trilogy

Ch9: The Three-pointed Dagger